American history teachers must be having a Flock moment. “Hallelujah! The kids were listening after all,” they might be thinking.
Recently, someone burned up two Flock surveillance cameras spying on the gun range at the Ocala National Forest. When a video was posted on Facebook showing the wreckage, the very first comment came from a fella named Jacob Landrum, who wrote, “The tea is in the harbor, folks!”
That was like the thousandth time someone on social media had equated Flock camera vandalism to the Boston Tea Party.
Flashback to December 1773: Sixty to 100 colonial bad boys in the Sons of Liberty, barely disguised as Mohawk warriors, dumped 342 chests of British tea into Boston Harbor. Led by the rabblerousing Sam Adams, they were protesting taxation without representation—a tax on tea. This spectacular act of vandalism cost British merchants the equivalent of nearly $2 million today.
Thus inspired, there is a nationwide plan to destroy Flock cameras on October 31, 2026. “Patriots” from Michigan to Middleburg, in costumes ranging from Mohawk to Michael Jackson, are to set out with Sawzalls in trick-or-treat sacks, their minds bent on mischief.
Once asked by Clay News & Views whether the Sheriff’s Office has an “intelligence unit,” Michelle Cook said (without irony) that it did not. But the FDLE surely does, and so rumors of the upcoming Halloween insurrection—the 31st is on a Saturday, by the way—are a known thing amongst law enforcement.
This week, the State of Florida ordered all Flocks off state roads. This was telegraphed the week before, one supposes, after Mr. Law-and-Order himself, Governor Ron DeSantis, wetted his index finger and held it aloft to discern which way the political breeze was blowing. Turns out the wind that day favored “personal liberty.”
It did not hurt that the DeSantis administration had just been exposed as having stolen $10 million from a fund for poor people’s health care and used the money to advertise against the legalization of marijuana, that being another personal liberty that more than half of Florida voters aspire to.
So, maybe The Great Un-Flocking of Florida was the kind of distraction we see on a daily basis coming from Washington, D.C.
Or is it something else? Maybe DeSantis and other Masters of the Florida Universe are worried what might happen if Floridians woke up on November 1 to a landscape of toppled Flocks.
And images of Batman and Robin in handcuffs—a Florida moment for the ages.
The “October Surprise” to end all, with an unknowable potential to create chaos two days later on Election Day.
Already, Facebook people are posting tutorials on “jury nullification.” This ancient Anglo-Saxon tradition allows our juries to disregard the evidence before them and, effectively, declare any criminal charges as unjust—one trial at time.
Destruction of property may be a crime, but, by applying a competing harms defense, Flock cameras might be seen as representing an unconstitutional affront so egregious that it far outweighs the mere $3,500 cost of the camera.
As CN&V has posted stories on the Flock debate, there is a distinct minority that defends the cameras as a law enforcement tool, prioritizing public safety over privacy rights. Judging by the response to these folks, you might think it was Benjamin Franklin who had died yesterday, not Dolly Parton.
This is the guy who invented the lightning rod, bifocal lenses, swim fins and a musical instrument made of glass, who charted the Gulf Stream and hornswaggled the French King into entering the War of Independence on our side. Yet, at the moment, he is a thousand times memorialized on Facebook for saying:
Those who would give up essential liberty to purchase a little temporary safety, deserve neither liberty nor safety.
(Franklin, in fact, was not talking about government intrusion, but something else altogether, but at this point does it really matter?),
During the Revolution those folks who remained loyal to the British monarchy were called “Tories.” They constituted up to a third of the population. After the war, many were expelled to Canada, the West Indies or back to Jolly Ole England. Others toughed it out, and their descendants are among us today—maybe even here in Clay County. Ya think?
The temptation was great to employ AI to adorn Sheriff Cook in the uniform of a Colonial-Era British general. We resisted, and you’re welcome, though she would have looked pretty spiffy in scarlet, white frills and a tricorn cap.
Yes, social media has begun to label Flock supporters as “redcoats.” There are memes to that effect.
One humor columnist printed in CN&V described how Flock cameras really work:
I can understand how there may be some confusion about what these cameras actually do. Captain Ryan Bailey of the Rutherford County Sheriff’s Office reassured everyone that “the camera itself is only capturing the vehicle traveling down the road.” That’s it. Just the vehicle. And the plate. And the time. And the location. And the direction of travel. And the make, model, and color. But definitely not the driver. Unless the driver is visible through the windshield, in which case, also the driver. But that’s it. Probably.
Yeah…no. That’s not it. Definitely. As you will learn from Josh Allen’s reporting over the next few days, Flock surveillance is already deeply embedded in Clay County and the system has been designed to expand exponentially in its ability to track…well…everybody.
History teachers might see the parallel to the Colonial Era “Writs of Assistance.” These pieces of parchment were general warrants that allowed British officials to search any home or business at any time for smuggled goods without needing specific reason or evidence.
Yet, there are those of you in Clay County who don’t mind that you are being tracked without ever having committed a crime, or even evidence that a crime has been committed.
“If you haven’t done anything wrong, you have nothing to worry about,” they say on Facebook. Don’t mind those Writs of Assistance, people. No worries as long as you don’t have smuggled goods under the bed.
Appearing to be about 14 years old, Garret Langley is nonetheless CEO of Flock. Langley went on television recently and told viewers that they should be willing to “compromise” their individual rights to better secure the hive. From George III’s mouth directly to Tory ears.
Interesting times, people. Happy Upcoming Halloween and God Bless the King!