First of two parts: Today, a story for children.
Once upon a time, in the village of Green Cove, there lived a man with a cat named Fluffy. On one September day, a messenger arrived with a very important, very official letter from the village elders. When the man opened it, the words took his breath away.
“Good Lord,” he said. “One hundred gold coins is a lot of gold, and I don’t even own a dog!
Village elders had determined that it would be a good idea to impose a fee on dog owners, but not on every owner. Only on those folks whose dogs had white on the tip of their tails. The elders must know what they are doing, the man thought. Their only error was believing that Fluffy was actually a dog. “We will show them, Fluffy,” he told her.
On Tuesday evening, the man showed up at the great conclave of elders, carrying Fluffy inside the wicker crate usually reserved for trips to the animal hospital.
Taking her from the crate, the man held Fluffy up for all to see, then addressed the elders. “Behold, elders of Green Cove, this is my cat Fluffy. She is not a dog, nor does she have white on the tip of her tail.”
A member of the ruling group replied. “Thank you for bringing your dog for us to inspect. We will consider your position that your dog is not a dog, but, from the evidence before us, we are not 100 percent convinced that is the case.”
“She is a cat,” the man protested. “Surely, that is evident.”
“And, as for the absence of white on the tip of your dog’s tail, we’ve seen a wholesale disapperance of white-tipped hounds in the village of late, and we are planning an inquisition to solve this mystery, beginning in October. We will include questions about your dog’s status in that inquiry.”
Ding, ding, ding! The lowest ranking elder rang the timer bell.
“Sir, your time is totally and most thoroughly expired. Please deposit your 100 gold coins with the bursar and get thee gone. Dogs are not permitted in this hall.”
She’s not a @%$#*& dog, he muttered.
As he left the great hall, the man whispered to Fluffy: “This is not over, old girl. We will petition the King’s court for redress, even if it costs another 100 in gold to do so. Surely, a judge will recognize a cat when he sees one, even if village elders pretend otherwise.”
Part II: The story, updated to reflect current events, goes to Florida’s Fourth Circuit Court for Clay County.
Oh you tease us so!!! Loving it!
Too bad it’s for real though.